Caregiving – Why It’s Important to Pace Yourself
This post is part of my series that compares caregiving to a long distance marathon. If a marathon runner tries to sprint their way to the finish line, they’re likely to collapse with exhaustion long before reaching the finish line. Caregiving is the same way. You have to pace yourself to succeed.
When it comes to caregiving, I think there are two main types. There’s the emergency, help needed now type, and the long-term, ongoing care type. When you are the primary caregiver for someone who has a debilitating illness like Alzheimer’s disease, it can be a combination of both. One minute you’re making sure your loved one is taking their medicine, then the next you might be helping them get up after a bad fall.
Sometimes we also feel like we need to do it all, right now. When we first learned Mom had Alzheimer’s disease, I felt overwhelmed. What treatment would we use? How can I help my kids understand? What legal matters need to be settled? What will we do if Mom needs care 24-7? How can we keep her safe without totally robbing her of her independence? I learned that all of my concerns could not be dealt with at once. Now, I try to take it day by day and tackle the most urgent issues first.
When you are providing care, even if you are not sprinting and providing constant emergency care, the ongoing care can still be tiring. Go at a comfortable pace and save your energy for the hills and bumpy terrain that come with caregiving. Also, accept the fact that while you may not be able to control what life gives you, you can control how you deal with it.
July 18th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I am so glad I found your website! I’m working on a play right now dealing with a woman caring for her mother (who has dementia), and while Alzheimer’s is not exactly the same thing, the play is really exploring the nature of the caregiver’s role.
I found you from the Today.com exiles page–I’m one as well, as is my sister, Rocket Scientist (http://rockets-r-us.blogspot.com/). I’ve added you to my blog roll, and I plan to go through your past blogs, too, so I can read them.
So glad you are here!
July 18th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
shakespeare – Hi! I’m always amazed that such a diverse group of people can relate to dementia and caregiving. What an interesting idea for a play! The mother-daughter relationship has its own dynamics, and when you throw in dementia things can get quite interesting! If you have any specific questions that could help with your project, just let me know.
Yes, I have visited your sister’s blogs quite a bit. I guess it’s a small world out in cyber space, too.
July 20th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I like your marathon analogy… it helps put your experience into perspective for someone like me who has not had to be a caregiver for a parent. (PS, liked your exile post, too but for some reason I couldn’t leave a comment).
July 20th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
So glad to find you again from your Today exile post!
Your blog is a great resource. Hope you can apply all the great information to yourself so that you are well cared for.
July 21st, 2009 at 6:26 am
Thanks Quadmama, I’m sure caring for quads is like a marathon, too!
Flemisa – Hi, thanks for stopping by! Yes, sometimes I do have to remind myself of these things. That’s the great thing about blogging about this topic. It helps me do a lot of reflection.